When you need to tell a partner, a hot hook-up or injecting partner, that you’ve picked up a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and that they also might need to get tested, it can be an uncertain or awkward conversation to have.
What do you say? How do you tell them? How are they going to react? and can you trust them?
This process called disclosure or notification can feel difficult or even embarrassing, especially if you’re unfamiliar with doing this. Whether it’s a partner, lover, friend-with-benefits or fuck-buddy, this conversation can be daunting to work out the words to use or how much detail to share.
‘Giving it a miss’ is the easy way out. If you care about the health of your partners, this is a crucial conversation to have so they can also get tested and if possibly treated. Many partners and lovers are grateful to have been told, so they can take care of their own health, let other partners know or even be there as a support for you.
Today there’s a range of options to share this news with people who need to know. Normally, telling your partners is carried out by yourself with the support of a nurse, social worker or doctor at the clinic where you were diagnosed. Of course, depending on the relationship, you might prefer to raise the topic yourself with your partner.
You can also let them know through an anonymous SMS from a website, like Let Them Know, Better To Know or The Drama Down Under.
Positive Life NSW offers another option. We have people (peers) who’ve been in your shoes and can support you when you’re ready to notify a sex or injecting partner. We’re here to support you when you’re ready, whether it’s an STI, hepatitis C (HCV) or even HIV.
This can be done in your own time, on your own terms, in your own way. Whether you want advice on how to work out who you need to talk with, brainstorm some ideas, or rank the order of risk among your casual or regular sex partners, reach out.
Telling partners about an STI diagnosis can be confronting. Our peers know that disclosure can be challenging, so we’re going to ensure there’s information tailored for ‘high-risk’ situations where you feel there might be physical, social or sexual violence, so your safety is the top priority. Being in control, means feeling better about yourself, and your partners are likely to respect your disclosure.
Contact Positive Life NSW if you’re looking for support or if you have any questions or concerns about HIV diagnosis and disclosure on (02) 8357 8386, 1800 245 677 (freecall) or email contact@positivelife.org.au.
